That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
