There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize