Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
