I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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