shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
