The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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