ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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