I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
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