Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
