Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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