i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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