If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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