I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
