If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
