In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
