it wasn't lemon gatorade
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
