I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
