Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize