quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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