Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
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