theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize