pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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