yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
