i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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