I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
