I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
