haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
