I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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