Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
