Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
