So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
