Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
