You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize