You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
