I want to stick my p in your. b.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
