Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
