If i come over, it means nothing
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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