I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
