my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
