Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
