I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
