just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
She even gives head with a lisp.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
