she looked like the bat from fern gully.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
