i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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