I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I stole a fireplace last night.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
