Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
