you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize