It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
