Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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