Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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