i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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