I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
