he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
