Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
