if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
