she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
