can u get pink eye on your cock?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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