you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
