Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
