Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
