Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
