I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
