it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
my poor anus
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
