Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
