Well douche your snatch and let's go!
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I have aggressive nipples.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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