Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
