Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
